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#755354 - 08/28/08 01:29 PM
Re: shocking behavior from other childs mom
[Re: kserah]
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Veri
Member
Registered: 04/21/05
Posts: 167
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similar problem. my daughter had a huge fight with my boyfriend (more on that later) and went out and took her younger sister with her, they never came home. they went over her 18 year old boyfriends house and were going to sleep there. I called and called finally got his mom on the phone (its 2 in the morning and her sister is 14, shes 17) who says nothing just gives them the phone. who the hell does this? I know my daughter said all sorts of horrible things and I'm a horrible mom and my boyfriend worse, but still you dont just let kids stay at your house. Oh and before this... her boyfreinds uncle and dad took them to NYC, they never come home. I call and call. Well the dad put them all on the wrong train becaue he wanted to go to another town - where his girlfriend was - and left them in Rahway - thats where the state prison is - at 3 in the morning, no trains then The Uncle a 50 year old man never says, hey call your mom she might worry - no I wait till 7 and finally get a call - daughter is 17, boyfriend 18 and the uncle and the father full grown. Now whenever shes out I'm calling and calling... she doesnt get why im worried. I told her father (were divorced many years) who told her off. Really liked the guy again . He told her its my house, my Rules, is she nuts to worry her mother so... and she kept saying, I didnt know you were so upset (she lives in the clouds its nice and peaceful there!) I have to admit I felt really proud of my ex (he had been an alcoholic and he seems to have just really grown up). But there isstill tension between the boyfriends I feel bad but i just cant put all of my daughters feelings first, i need someone too, someone who is lookng out for me, im probably dreaming but i hope it will work out. Just wish my daughter would gt a new bf they've been dating since she's 13 and she needs to move on - the kid barely graduated hs (went to the alt high school for 2years because he missed so many days of school -his mom allowed this too and she's letting his 15 yearl old sister dropout - none of my business just not wht i want for my daughter - my daughter is in all honors courses and is going to be a veterinarian- she also really pretty -
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#775847 - 09/30/08 10:54 AM
Re: shocking behavior from other childs mom
[Re: Bluefairy]
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Pocahontas
Veteran
Registered: 01/28/03
Posts: 637
Loc: North
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You & Sis are not overreacting & its not crazy. I would've done the same thing. Lacey had specific Rules to follow & she didn't. BS she "missed the bus." Yeah, on purpose!!
She's 13, a new teenager, but thinks she knows it all. Sounds alot like my oldest son who is 14-1/2 but going on 25. My son even has the attitude problem going on and never in a million years did I imagine my sweet, loving, wonderful, textbook perfect FirstBorn would turn into the mere monster of a teenager. He even tells ME how to drive & that he could drive better than I do blindfolded. Seriously!! He's my backseat driver from h-e-l-l who hasn't even taken driver's ed yet. I have to give him some credit tho as he does know how to drive and usually drives trucks around with Dad on private land.
But I digress...Lacey sounds like the typically "normal" teenager I am now familiar with. At least we both have their beloved electronics, & my son's favorite, his cell phone for texting 24/7, to take away; and we can also make them stay home to take all social privileges away. IMO that's great behavior modification. We've used all of the above before with success. Hope that you two are successful with Lacey's grounding & make sure she knows Mom means business....no joke.
I wouldn't trust this BFmom at all. If she is going above & beyond your sister's parenting, that sounds like big-time trouble in the near future if your sister doesn't nip it in the bud quick-like. If BFmom says & does the things you mention, she's modeling that behavior to her daughter & as hard as it is with girls & best friends, Lacey's BF doesn't sound like someone I'd want my kid to be hanging around with. How scary that Lacey is falling for the bad influences which is bringing her down. She knew to take the bus home but I would bet BF's mom had ALOT to do with Lacey breaking her own Rules. Where are BF's mom's morals & values? I would never even drive one of my son's friends home from school without talking to his parents first....no matter how much my son or his friend begged me. I pick up my boys from school daily and that situation has happened many a time. I just wouldn't do it.
Teenagers. Oh wow! Hang in there....I'm trying to also! I never thought the teenage years would be so hard. I still have two more sons, 8 & 2, and a few years yet, before I deal with more teenage angst.
Sounds like great parenting to me on your part and FireFairy's! 
_________________________
~Princess Pocahontas~
Better living thru the Pharmaceutical Sciences
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#776118 - 09/30/08 04:58 PM
Re: shocking behavior from other childs mom
[Re: Pocahontas]
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Bluefairy
Threadhead
Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 836
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A few updates on all this.
Lacey has developed some insight into why this was a bigger problem than she thought it was.
Between her 4 older siblings and my 5 kids, she was bombarded with why it is not a good idea for parents to be besties with their kids. They were able to point out acquaintances whose parents tried to be friends instead of parents and how poorly it worked out for everyone. They were able to impress upon her that parents that really care about their kids worry more about what is in the kids best interest rather than the child becoming angry.
The young lady is allowed to come to our apartment, but Lacey does not go over there.
This has led to some weird revelations about the local school transportation system. No child can ride a bus without a transportation card for that particular bus. You just cannot get on another bus, morning or afternoon, not even with a note.
I spoke to the head of the city schools transportation department about it, I was so confused. I asked how they handled it if a child needed to ride from parent's house in the morning and get off at Grandma's each afternoon. What happened if a child's parents were divorced and the child divided their time between the two residences. What about emergencies?
Simple answer: they do not allow it. Period. Now, they do not monitor who kids get in cars with after school, at all. So why this big concern about them riding one bus and one bus only, no matter the situation? Turns out the Rules are not to protect the kids. If a child is suspended from a bus they might try to get around it by riding another from a relative's or friend's home.
Ridiculous.
_________________________
Come out, come out, wherever you are ......
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