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#685714 - 04/19/08 04:00 PM
My depression confession and so much more
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stits
Banned. Making other posters not want to visit...
GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 2981
Loc: Stitsville, Virginia
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Preface
This is a uniquely stitsy "article." You should read it at your leisure, come back if too long, et cetera. It attempts to share my personal experience with antidepressants while at the same time speaking directly to the medical community on our approach to this illness.
Often a happy-go-lucky person in my life of 44 years
......I made a crucial error exactly two years ago. Medically speaking, I have been unable to remain stabilized for more than a few months, sometimes not even managing a few weeks ever since.
I was on Zoloft for about a decade, got caught up in the PaxilProgress craze, decided that I wasn't living all that I should, or more importantly could be; decided *just perhaps* that Zoloft was making me too emotionally flat.
The problem with the general anti-psychiatry movement is the high degree of intelligence amongst its followers. Look at Peter Breggin, M.D. - A Psychiatrist. I came to be convinced for a period that psychiatrists and their evil pills were spawned from the devil himself!
Bad medicine
So I (slowly, I thought) weaned myself from Zoloft 100 mg to 0 mg within about six weeks. That was around March 2006. For damned-near four weeks I was ok. I was peeing much easier and didn't have daily cotton-mouth. Then I was hit with a full-blown major depression like I'd never experienced before. I suffered unexplained, super-massive headaches that I believe I shared on here. (We could go back and search I suppose -- people here were genuinely alarmed. Thing is, at the time I NEVER thought to associate them with d/c of Zoloft.)
Ok? You still there?  Here's the giant question-mark in my story. That this might be an implicit iatrogenic occurrence (given the unprecedented severity) was a possibility obvious only to me. The prescribing doctor dismissed it. Also at that point, the question was rather immaterial to my treatment: I had to return to the very SSRI of damnation for relief.
And you know what? The headaches went away. Eventually, my mood lifted.
It might sound like hyperbole but such is the circularity conundrum people are faced with in the U.S. Similar yet unlike the "protracted withdrawal" we see on stoppage of benzodiazepines, antidepressant discontinuation syndrome can lead to a perpetuation of treatment with drugs that may not have occurred if such pharmaceutical means were never employed to begin with.
This is why I say it loud that TALK THERAPY, CBT, or ANY other alternative should be tried before an AD when the problem your patient presents with is not clearly major depression or PD.
It's that simple.
It's that simple, yet YOU KNOW we over-medicate in the U.S., notoriously so.
For the love of money
Right. Well by now the reader may be confused, so let's try and clarify: I do believe the problem of over-medication is real but that fervent anti-psychiatry and sites such as PaxilProgress over react;. The movement is too radical, driving away traditional practitioners such that the two schools of thought ne'er shall meet. That is a sad reality, and we all wind up paying some price.
I think, and YOU KNOW (I am speaking to doctors) the FDA is too cozy with drug companies, I do not believe in the peddling of prescription drugs during my evening news, and think there is a deep conflict when pharmaceutical representatives are allowed into doctors' offices, paid and rewarded, at times with outlandish incentives, to sell the prescribing of their company's drugs.
The 'system is broke'; the incentives and financial rewards, more freakish and pervasive than the lay public may ever know.
So now what?
Now? My sertraline (Zoloft) will not work like it used to (the data shows that stopping and starting ADs tends to decrease efficacy). So was it my "fault"?
Yeah, sure. No. Maybe. Who knows. As I said before, fault has little to do with do it with now (the old AA saying comes to mind - it doesn't matter how the mule got stuck in the ditch so much as it does getting him out).
All I can do is play the game at this point. At that last appointment with my doctor--a psychiatrist--I suggested augmentation with Wellbutrin XL 300 mg AM po, which means once in the morning with my Zoloft.
LOL... It says something when *I* have to walk in with an alternative or "what now" treatment plan that is the lesser of several possible horrors to me. My being "knowledgeable" is fine and all, but there's no bragging here: This ain't a place you want to find yourself at the age of 44 (any age, in all fairness).
But yeah, he says, "Well ...or we can add an atypical neuroleptic to enhance the Zoloft!" with a pitch I found just a little too excited for comfort. LOL, I'm thinking right then and there: "Oh Christ, now this guy wants to put me on Seroquel."
I wasn't having any of that! 
Conclusion
So... I'm stuck, aren't I? I mean, what does this say about the state of psychiatry today. Well, it says that as a species, we are very young, of course. But look at what's happening--this guy, with 12, hell maybe 16 years of formal education and a background in practicing of a good 10 years is just as blind as I am when comes to this.
We're throwing darts at a board in a dimly-lit room, people.
What do I do? Take on another heavy-duty AD (it's the first and only "NDRI" to date, having almost no affinity for serotonin and acting on norepinephrine and dopamine levels).
We would be "hitting all three crucial neurotransmitters" known to affect mood as he said, holding up three fingers.
But heck, man. I don't know. I... I mean, if I get started on this stuff (and can tolerate it), I'll probably NEVER be able to come off it, EVER (lessons learned).
And so, I shall end this long and winding post of sharing and rumination on just that point: I don't know. Socrates ascribed the awareness of "not knowing" to wisdom itself. I reckon that's a fair ending. But I wouldn't presume to know.
This post has been vetted and certified Stits
_________________________
"Ignore." It's like my own little mini-ban.
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#685878 - 04/20/08 05:44 AM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: jl767]
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easyme
Enthusiast
Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 261
Loc: at home mostly
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... i see.. uh huh.. well, u have personality type A... says the syke doc. (no im not a syke doc)
Stits: My cod, i mean doc, put me on zoloft as well. It made me as you said, emotionally flat. I stopped it when i was overseas, and decided that there was no need for me to be on the horrible medicine. (I hated the fact that i HAD to take it) I didnt wean myself, i just stopped taking it. A better idea would have been to wean myself as u did, but i had had enough. I had the "tingling" sensation in my bottom lip, and "shocks" in my head (TL) LOL!!! It lasted for the next 3 months, only, as time went by, the "aftershocks" (LOL) lessened.
_________________________
... im scared of spiders ...
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#685897 - 04/20/08 07:56 AM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: stits]
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tjt2300
Pooh-Bah
Registered: 09/29/05
Posts: 1323
Loc: In God's Country
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Stits...long time no type! Zoloft is a monster, to be sure. I had a brief case of the "blues" after being disabled and losing my job. Who wouldn't? Well, my expert PCP decided I needed Zoloft to help me through the difficult time. I agreed, for some reason, and started on that fun treadmill. 100mg was also my dose. I hated it. Might as well have put Salt Peter in my coffee. I still was blue, now without sex, or any feeling of normal. I just quit after about 4 months. I had bain zaps for a month. I felt crazy mood swings. By the time it stopped, I was so happy to just be blue, my mood improved. Bad, bad stuff. Sometimes lousy stuff happens and people are put in a funk. Doctors need to learn or be taught this is part of life. They do tend to reach for the RX pad too quickly, except if it is for pain...
_________________________
"Fearlessness is the first requirement of spirtuality. Cowards can never be moral." -Mahatma Ghandi
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#685979 - 04/20/08 12:15 PM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: tjt2300]
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jlifeson
Member
Registered: 03/28/07
Posts: 133
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Stits...long time no type! Zoloft is a monster, to be sure. I had a brief case of the "blues" after being disabled and losing my job. Who wouldn't? Well, my expert PCP decided I needed Zoloft to help me through the difficult time. I agreed, for some reason, and started on that fun treadmill. 100mg was also my dose. I hated it. Might as well have put Salt Peter in my coffee. I still was blue, now without sex, or any feeling of normal. I just quit after about 4 months. I had bain zaps for a month. I felt crazy mood swings. By the time it stopped, I was so happy to just be blue, my mood improved. Bad, bad stuff. Sometimes lousy stuff happens and people are put in a funk. Doctors need to learn or be taught this is part of life. They do tend to reach for the RX pad too quickly, except if it is for pain...
Exactly! I was on Zoloft for about a year and a half. In alot of ways it helped as I have GAD and used to have panic attacks out of the blue. I put on 30 pounds (and I work out ALOT and watch the diet) and couldnt, ahem, "finish" when the wife and I were trying for our first child. The weight gain was too much for me...I worked hard for years to have a good build and this came along and mucked that up in short order (shallow as that may sound) When I went off, I tapered down and I had the brain zaps for a while but other than that it wasnt too bad for me.
The one thing that is WAY too true...my doc(s) will write me a phone books worth of rx's for Zoloft and even stuff like Xanax (which I dont like) but FORGET ABOUT IT for pain! If im lucky I may get some Tramadol...like 16! Unbelievable.
Edited by jlifeson (04/20/08 12:17 PM)
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#686053 - 04/20/08 04:14 PM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: jlifeson]
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stits
Banned. Making other posters not want to visit...
GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 2981
Loc: Stitsville, Virginia
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^
Hey man, interesting dat about the Tram.
Are you in U.S.? According to Wiki it isn't even a controlled drug in the U.S.? 
Fiora -
Great to see you here. Your post speaks truth and can be summed in those last powerful couple of lines.
I just quit after about 4 months. I had bain zaps for a month. I felt crazy mood swings. By the time it stopped, I was so happy to just be blue, my mood improved.
Hi friend  lol! That's funny And yes, too long no type, sadly.
Sometimes lousy stuff happens and people are put in a funk. Doctors need to learn or be taught this is part of life. They do tend to reach for the RX pad too quickly, except if it is for pain...
Amen brother/sister.
At this time, I figure I got no choice. I'm in it; I have to play this hand.
For example, an alternative is to go the PaxilProgress route and take about a year weaning off Zoloft. Well I c- (laughing as i write this!)... I can't afford that. I'll have decided to opt out and will be dead by then.
And I'm not about the whole "vitamin/B-complex/ barley (yes, barley)/ NT "precursors" (amino acids) or "GABA-in-a-bottle" thing, either. The whole NATURAL approach. I don't have the time. Others can gamble the natural route - Stits doesn't have the time.
I'll go with Wellbutrin/Zoloft and hope that I turn around, because this is not living. There is no spark and no pleasure. What is it? It's... existing in a non-vegetative state, doing the minimal to sustain life.
I am a robot. lol
JL, you feel I overthink things. I do have a lot to cogitate and weigh over. Some people are obsessive--I'm not obsessive. I am curious, always learning, sometimes angry, depressed, incensed. 
I do write a lot. (If not here, I always find another forum.) It's my outlet and my release; posting is also a tool for sharing my experience. Some people have said "Man, you should start a blog." Do you know how many freakin LiveJournals and blogs and MySpace pages there are out there now?
No one would read it. lol Forum members (regardless the forum) quickly come to know me.
Stits: [...] A better idea would have been to wean myself as u did, but i had had enough. I had the "tingling" sensation in my bottom lip, and "shocks" in my head (TL) LOL!!!
What is TL?
It lasted for the next 3 months, only, as time went by, the "aftershocks" (LOL) lessened.
Thx. I never had the tingling or shocks which are notorious for paroxetine users who discontinue. In fact, I find the diversity of people's d/c symptoms intriguing.
Ostensibly, all "SSRI"s (these would Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, Lexapro; likely many newer ones) inhibit the reuptake of serotonin in the presynaptic cell of nerves, sometimes called a "cleft." Some (especially newer) may use slightly different mechanisms or routes of action, but the sheer disparity of both people's benefits from them and negative effects upon discontinuation really amazes me.
I know I'm not taking into account the numerous stories from hell that people have from Effexor, an SNRI (for norepinephrine), and many other types of antidepressants. We realize now that doctors (absolutely including psychiatrists) were UNAWARE for some time of discontinuation syndrome. It was a uniquely patient-reported iatrogenic phenomenon. (Iatrogenic is a $10 word meaning physician- or drug- caused illness.)
I do hope NOT to come off as overly harsh on the practicing medical community, for it simply lacked data. But for a really long time, physicians thought nothing at all of stopping Prozac, Zoloft, & Paxil (the first three in this new line, I believe) just *snap*, cold-turkey.
It's 2008. That's time enough to forget basic pertinent history, so let's take the reader back fifteen years. Prozac, the progenitor, was widely marketed as a major leap forward in the treatment of depression, and quickly became thought of as fairly innocuous and little more harmful than an aspirin. It did after all, lack the oppressive anticholinergic side effects of dry mouth, urinary retention, and major sedation of the TCAs and therefore was far bettered tolerated.
Are you remembering with me?
Bolstered by heavy marketing from Eli Lilly and further promoted to frenzied, near hysteric levels by every outlet from TIME magazine (remember the big green-and-white "Pulvule" capsule on the cover?) to 20/20 to 60 Minutes, broad and erroneous extrapolations were formed about safety and efficacy.
This is, by the way, how pop culture-driven advertising of prescription drugs gets us into trouble: Patient demand can overwhelm long-term implications of a treatment as doctors are pressed and prodded into prescribing the latest cure.
But did you know that some of the very earliest reports of brain-zaps from Effexor were posted to Usenet? (It is now "Google Groups.")
That goes all the way back to late NINETIES. When informed, doctors often were reported to 1) deny or otherwise prevaricate; or 2) react so as to patronize or unintentionally be condescending. "Well... you're
likely over-reacting."
So...
We haven't learned a DAMNED thing from the 60's Valium fiasco, or from mistakes preceding, I reckon.
"History repeats itself." Do you know the second half of that quote? It's "first as tragedy, second as farce." (Karl Marx)
Stits
_________________________
"Ignore." It's like my own little mini-ban.
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#689884 - 04/28/08 01:49 AM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: stits]
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stits
Banned. Making other posters not want to visit...
GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 2981
Loc: Stitsville, Virginia
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Hey guys, tomorrow morning, i begin the Wellbutrin + Zoloft regimen.
GSK (GlaxoSmithKine) is providing these stits for free through their Bridges to Access program. Weeee!
NEway, I am really psyched. When you're at the bottom there is only one way to go, as the axiom reminds us.
Just... i reflect too goddamned much. Reflect and introspect. Living in your head, endlessly playing back tapes of what is in some ways a truly sad and tragic lifetime up to present [easily seen by objective standards, mind you] is an extremely pernicious mental spot to be in.
Did you know there are suicide forums out there? No, no, not pro-suicide (though of course they can be found, too) but actual sites where people who so are desperate, they just continually obsess about when, whether, and how to kill themselves whilst the staff and healthier-minded forum members graple with Shakespeare's timeless To be or not to be... that is the question themselves and trust me, that is the question for these folks, though many as i alluded, are healthy enough to use all their might to dissuade the person obsessed with suicidal ideation from taking add'tl steps toward that ultimate finalization which can never be undone.
Stits
_________________________
"Ignore." It's like my own little mini-ban.
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#689920 - 04/28/08 05:47 AM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: stits]
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stits
Banned. Making other posters not want to visit...
GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 2981
Loc: Stitsville, Virginia
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Excellent stuff as always Stits. Is it just me, or have you taken on a stronger interest in your non-verbal communication talents since I last visited?
Thank you of course, Neofate. But mind, I hold no less respect for you than for myself and many other gifted contributors to DB.com.
You raise an interesting point, though. Let's do some simple 'maff'.  It's been some eighteen months since I was locked out of DB.com. But for love of writing, my curiosity, and study of a broad spectrum from many disparate disciplines, I've done my best to grow and better myself evermore as a writer--with or without DB.com. You just cannot place all your allegiance in a single forum, and you need only look at what happened to understand why.
Back to the story, a year and a half can be a long time depending on how one uses it -- and I got heavily involved in ilovephilosophy.com, learning logic & reason. Much is far over my head lol - but I give you http://www.ilovephilosophy.com as an example of just how 'heady' the brainiacs of the 'Net can get.
Anyway, a key gaffe people (trolls and troublemakers alike) commit is mistaking kindness and a gentlemanly deportment for weakness, an error I exploited (actually, I like to say demonstrated or pointed out... lol) to great effect on the now-defunct site.
Overall, it provided a free, novel, and rare opportunity to study the fate of systems based upon anarchy.
You know, Neo: The very willingness to continue to learn via serious application and study reaps untold rewards. I'd already spent years learning about drugs, addiction, and pharmacology in general.
So, over those 18 monthsk when I was locked out from here, I branched out and picked up tons of philosophy, came to know of important thinkers throughout the past several centuries, learned a great deal about how to argue or debate and the many tricks, and fallacies of sound logic and reason to which the lay public is simply ignorant. (This is not a 'dig' at anyone; just an observation. Most people actually do not know how to argue a point or support their side without slipping into what is called some form of ad hominem reference or making other basic mistakes which have no impact upon the subject being argued.)
Of course, I had to study what was happening between the giant DB.com and its rivals springing up. At its heart, the challenge entailed breaking down collectively our socio-, taxonomical, pathos, and hierarchical structures, mainly through observation, then correctly describing the innate flaws.
It was a golden opportunity--for we got to see how easily order can break down in any unchecked system. Personally, I found certain things about human nature to be at once fascinating but very sad to learn of, as well.
But once the offending site caved under its own weight of anarchy and depravity, I was eventually informed and asked to please come back to DB.com.
Well, I'm back and see MANY old familiar "faces" (nicknames). Here's hoping that bannings which have happened before never again happen for those types of reasons and that we all learn from mistakes of the past.
Thanks again Neo -
Stits
_________________________
"Ignore." It's like my own little mini-ban.
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#690049 - 04/28/08 10:13 AM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: stits]
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neofate
GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 10/30/02
Posts: 1734
Loc: Southern, US
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Hey guys, tomorrow morning, i begin the Wellbutrin + Zoloft regimen.
GSK (GlaxoSmithKine) is providing these stits for free through their Bridges to Access program. Weeee!
NEway, I am really psyched. When you're at the bottom there is only one way to go, as the axiom reminds us.
Godspeed, and good luck with the new cocktail. May I ask if you are or have considered modifying your therapy with some sort of counseling, exercise, and a proper diet? I find that depression and its demonistic relatives are much better combated with a multi-faceted approach than relying on a pharmaceutical approach alone.
I only ask because you may be taking all of these measures *already* or some of them.
Just... i reflect too goddamned much. Reflect and introspect. Living in your head, endlessly playing back tapes of what is in some ways a truly sad and tragic lifetime up to present [easily seen by objective standards, mind you] is an extremely pernicious mental spot to be in.
I believe highly introspective people are usually highly intelligent, and exhibit many of the same character traits. A mainstay is generally the pursuit of knowledge, driven from an internal, unquenchable, curiosity.
I am introspective to a flaw, no doubt. Have been all my life, and will always be this way. We can't turn it off, but we can mediate our life we live to not allow our experiences to constantly be 'negative' and 'unsatisfactory' to our standards.. Where ever they may lie. (Usually unfairly high).
Did you know there are suicide forums out there? No, no, not pro-suicide (though of course they can be found, too) but actual sites where people who so are desperate, they just continually obsess about when, whether, and how to kill themselves whilst the staff and healthier-minded forum members graple with Shakespeare's timeless To be or not to be... that is the question themselves and trust me, that is the question for these folks, though many as i alluded, are healthy enough to use all their might to dissuade the person obsessed with suicidal ideation from taking add'tl steps toward that ultimate finalization which can never be undone.
Stits
Forums, no, but I would have guessed yes, as there is a forum for just about anything these days. I have seen some newsgroups such as 'alt.suicide.holidy' and the ilk. People contemplating not so much 'when' to , as they call it, 'catch the bus'.. But how to. How to do it as painlessly as possible, but more importantly to get the job done 'right' the first attempt. Most of the people on these discussion sites are there for years and then they either resolve their state of mind, or just get too busy to post I imagine. It isn't that you see all these 'suicidal' people knocking themselves off every week. Otherwise the forums wouldn't be around long, would they? --
Also, it is quite normal to have some suicidal ideation, even in the most mentally healthy of us. It is when that ideation becomes frequent and is dwelled upon that help is truly needed.
It is an interesting subject in and of itself, regardless of if the person studying has a personal agenda, if you know what I mean 
The old saying, Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem is dead on imo.
_________________________
-/\/eofate
"Efforts and courage are not enough, without purpose and direction."
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#690211 - 04/28/08 02:54 PM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: jl767]
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stits
Banned. Making other posters not want to visit...
GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 2981
Loc: Stitsville, Virginia
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#690251 - 04/28/08 04:15 PM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: chantex]
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stits
Banned. Making other posters not want to visit...
GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 10/15/05
Posts: 2981
Loc: Stitsville, Virginia
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Thanks dear - (((chantex)))
Godspeed, and good luck with the new cocktail.
And a cocktail it is. Yuck.
May I ask if you are or have considered modifying your therapy with some sort of counseling, exercise, and a proper diet? I find that depression and its demonistic relatives are much better combated with a multi-faceted approach than relying on a pharmaceutical approach alone.
The "diet" facet is pretty fixed and set (long story), but oh absolutely co-existing counseling should really always accompany people in crisis or pseudo-crisis stages. It's not readily avail. for me, however. (E.g. proper counseling).
Money Neo. It runs the world and I'll not be consigned or relegated to some group of mandatory attendees in a court-ordered methadone program or otherwise busted for possession... you get the idea.
Exercise, I'm all about! Give me hour of brisk walking and I'll return home a new Stitsicums.  I recognize the important of regular, get and do routine. I strive for 4 days a work devoted solely to aerobic walking.
I believe highly introspective people are usually highly intelligent, and exhibit many of the same character traits. A mainstay is generally the pursuit of
knowledge, driven from an internal, unquenchable, curiosity.
I am introspective to a flaw, no doubt. Have been all my life, and will always be this way. We can't turn it off, but we can mediate our life we live to not allow our experiences to constantly be 'negative' and 'unsatisfactory' to our standards.. Where ever they may lie. (Usually unfairly high).
Yup. Following you and agree.
Forums, no, but I would have guessed yes, as there is a forum for just about anything these days. I have seen some newsgroups such as 'alt.suicide.holidy' and the ilk.
I cannot list forums here, but the trendiness of (or perhaps more accurately, *awareness* of) it has reached far beyond the newsgoups now and it might (might) shock you to learn of the number of deeply scarred people determined to arrange and control their own final exit.
Both in my "research" and seek of help for myself, I have participated in one of the largest 'Suicide Forums' (hint) existent Neo. Always cognizant (like having a mini lil' stitsy outside myself objectively observing from a corner of the room) of what it SAYS about people who go to these sites in the first place, I never quite felt comfortable and though I have spent months on one forum learning and sharing, I really had to shield myself others' obsessive ideation.
*LUCKILY*, I never fit in lol, and found myself bucking the trend, insisting on life-affirmation and found myself trying to help others more than anything else.
Most of the people on these discussion sites are there for years and then they either resolve their state of mind, or just get too busy to post I imagine. It isn't that you see all these 'suicidal' people knocking themselves off every week.
Unfortunately, you cannot afford to understate the prevalence of people who have succeeded. I've "witnessed" it online; remembering that this is a global stage, many people either go through with a suicide or attempt it, Neo.
Many of these people are deeply troubled, and vicariously watching the the machinations of how people throw off all help and follow through can be very disturbing indeed.
The old saying, Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem is dead on imo.
Well hrmm... let's change "dead on" to "spot on" what do you say. 
Stits
_________________________
"Ignore." It's like my own little mini-ban.
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#690328 - 04/28/08 06:53 PM
Re: My depression confession and so much more
[Re: stits]
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neofate
GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 10/30/02
Posts: 1734
Loc: Southern, US
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The "diet" facet is pretty fixed and set (long story), but oh absolutely co-existing counseling should really always accompany people in crisis or pseudo-crisis stages. It's not readily avail. for me, however. (E.g. proper counseling).
It suffices that you simply say 'yes' about the diet. I'm guilty of a poor diet, so my hypocrisy knows no bounds I suppose.
As for 'proper' counseling. I know of your mention of money below so I suppose the following will be counter-acted with the same response. Anyhow, if it possible I think the, obvious response, keep searching for the 'proper' counseling as it is equivocally important to your health as the pharmaceutical order of the day, imo.
Money Neo. It runs the world and I'll not be consigned or relegated to some group of mandatory attendees in a court-ordered methadone program or otherwise busted for possession... you get the idea.
You lost me here a bit.. enumerate, if you are at liberty, Algernon.
Exercise, I'm all about! Give me hour of brisk walking and I'll return home a new Stitsicums. I recognize the important of regular, get and do routine. I strive for 4 days a work devoted solely to aerobic walking.
Fantastic.. also , if physically possible, don't underestimate the value of resistance training for the health AND the mental health. Whether you agree that your self-esteem is low or not, it *will* boost it from any level, guaranteed. *No response necessary here, just a little addendum*
I cannot list forums here, but the trendiness of (or perhaps more accurately, *awareness* of) it has reached far beyond the newsgoups now and it might (might) shock you to learn of the number of deeply scarred people determined to arrange and control their own final exit.
Oh I am fairly aware of the masses in the 'information age' (or have we moved into a new era? ).
Along with suicidal tendencies, most people would like to have control over their own death. Although suicide is about the only way one can arrange to acquire that control, and if thought about only slightly longer than a few minutes -- It can be quickly realized that true control is not gained by 'choosing' the only other option to dieing of an unpredictable cause (or unknown at the moment)... suicide. It truly isn't *choosing* , imo, or owning your "exit". Technically, it is a choice,.. but HIGHLY limited.
Both in my "research" and seek of help for myself, I have participated in one of the largest 'Suicide Forums' (hint) existent Neo. Always cognizant (like having a mini lil' stitsy outside myself objectively observing from a corner of the room) of what it SAYS about people who go to these sites in the first place, I never quite felt comfortable and though I have spent months on one forum learning and sharing, I really had to shield myself others' obsessive ideation.
And what does it say about people who *visit* these places. Perhaps the lurkers who never speak a word?
I think you are grateful you don't fit into the pseudo 'hemlock society'
*LUCKILY*, I never fit in lol, and found myself bucking the trend, insisting on life-affirmation and found myself trying to help others more than anything else.
I'm sure you realize that is a true affirmation of your likelihood to ever carry out such a horrid task. Also a great result of your character. You are more interested in a solution to the problem, not simply ending life all together.
Unfortunately, you cannot afford to understate the prevalence of people who have succeeded. I've "witnessed" it online; remembering that this is a global stage, many people either go through with a suicide or attempt it, Neo.
No need to remind me of the statistics. Last year alone over 32,000 people committed suicide... with *confirmation*. The majority of such with firearms, followed by asphyxiation (aka: suffocation).
Global stage, yes, with an audience of like minded individuals, it in no way represents a 'general' .. or 'normal' slice of the earth pie. Though don't get my impressions wrong.. People of this nature are neither better or worse , smarter or less intelligent, etc.. than the 'normal' more mentally stable human. Attempts FAR outweigh successful suicides.. thankfully. With most of them not resulting in life long altering damage. (Of the physical nature). Latest statistics show right at half a million people a year visit the Emergency Room alone for self-inflicted injur | | | | | |
Out of respect for those who appreciate my contributions, have welcomed me back, and out of respect for the site owner himself, discretion dictates that I not discuss what's fast-becoming ancient history.