My psychologist told me I probably have some type of dissociative disorder. I've always been very emotionally disconnected from my friends and family and a bit of a loner.

I used to self-medicate with painkillers since I actually felt connected to everything around me on them, but that ended up being too much of a financial burden on me and my family.

Recently, when I was weening myself off of painkillers, I tried Suboxone a few times to offset the cravings. What I found was that even after the cravings for painkillers had long since gone, SUBOXONE helped me with my dissociative problems. I felt more connected to everything and everyone around me and more social in general. All without the fake-good-mood that painkillers brought on.

I don't know what else is available to me, but it's become obvious that Suboxone is only prescribed to people who are battling addiction.

Does anyone know of any other options for me? I know I am in need of some extensive counseling, but Suboxone REALLY helped out a lot, and I don't want to be doing anything illegal by buying it off of "people".

Ideas?

Not quite true, there has been research that indicates that suboxone does help with certain types of depression (do a search on it here at DB, we have discussed opiates in general for relief from depression also; there was a great article in the women's magazine ELLE a couple of years ago that discussed this topic---the author now uses sub for her depression...again, I provided a link in a post, and it should be searchable here at DB.) The problem is finding a doctor to prescribe suboxone "off label."

Suboxone is an opioid, like the painkillers you were taking before, except it is a mixed agonist/antagonist. It is a powerful opioid, and opioids do tend to encourage people to want to talk to those around them. I've seen it in hospital many times. A quiet patient who keeps himself to himself receives a dose of morphine and becomes rather chatty, even to the point of inappropriateness.

One respectable gentleman I saw was using Patient-Controlled Analgesia post-op, and when he pressed his button a couple of times and the diamorphine hit him, he asked one of the nurses to move his penis to the other side of his scrotum, stating that he "dresses to he left".