Several years ago I was a severe drug addict and abused prescription and non-prescription drugs. When I finally managed to get off the hard drugs I told my doctor about my past. I came clean with him in an effort to build trust with my physician and to keep myself honest.
Now, several years later I find myself in pain; daily. I want to keep to one doctor and stay honest--but my past is really biting me in the [censored]. I almost have to beg to get as little as 2 hydrocodone a day from my doctor. This forces me to prioritize what daily activities are 'important' enough for me to 'spend' my meager doses on.
I just want to be able to live a normal life free of pain--able to play with my son (I am a single father--wife died in '05)but it seems the poor decisions I made in my past are condemning me to a life of hurt.
My doctor gives me 200 Tramadol a month to "hold me over" when I don't have REAL medicine--but they don't do anything for me(except make me a bit sleepy) and mostly sit idle except for when I have no other choice.
I finally became frustrated enough to turn to online sources to try and find a reliable/safe source of pain relief. The only alternative being going back out on the street to find whatever I can 'score'---not an option for someone like me--I'd wind up chasing the dragon again--and frankly I'd rather eat a bullet.
Is this a common problem?

I had a friend with with an issue similar to this.

What happened in the end is she end up setting up a deal with her doctor to come in every few days to get pill counts done by his secretary..it was a hassle, but she ended up getting what she needed.

Best of luck.

There is F2F pain doctors in msp area if you are truly from there. One of the companies listed here on this board might help. have you looked in the face to face (F2F) part of the board?

No, I haven't looked yet---I'm afraid I'm still unsure what the difference between a regular doctor visit and a F2F one is (tho I have read a description or two the interaction seems about the same---recommended reading?)

Looked into the definition a bit more--and if I'm not mistaken it just means that when you go to the doctor you get an actual licensed practitioner---as opposed to a PA or some such other stand-in. (is this a misinterpretation on my part?)

The doctors here in MN may be stingy with the pain meds, but EVERY time I go to the doctor--I get a REAL doctor (not just someone in a white coat). For the fee charged it dang well better be too!!! I never heard of F2F 'cause I guess its not really necessary here...

F2F is the new version of online ordering of pain meds and other controlled drugs.

It is now illegal to be prescribed controlled meds w/out a face to face (F2F) meeting w/the doctor. B4 when one ordered online, only a phone conversation w/the doctor was required.

The doctors are still in charge of what they prescribe of course. However, the F2F internet services, infer that their doctors are comfortable prescribing controlled medications for pain or anxiety if medically justified.

But some folks have found that not to be true.

I'll look closer, Thanks! (BTW--does a F2F have to be from your state?)

It probably is a good idea. Different states have different laws, and some pharmacies are pickier than others. I am not sure what your local situation is, but I would go with a F2F doc from the same state, if possible.

My doc and I are in the same situation. It took many months to build up the courage to ask for opiates. I'm now given 150, 10/325's monthly with refills but I'm still in pain and fighting the addiction and he's still watching me like a hawk. His reasoning is that my pain is very real so he'll prescribe but it's my responsability to let him know when things get out of control. Also, ER meds are off the table and I have to take all the a/d's, muscle relaxers and NSAID's to help with the pain.

You're not alone and there are many of us out there struggling to overcome our pasts so we can enjoy the present. Good luck to you with your doc, in the future.

A short five minute office visit with my family Dr is billed at $150.00. My insurance allowed only $85.00 and I had to pay it because I did not meet my deductible.

It seems so unfair for them to charge so much for so little.

I can understand why people order medication.

What's even worse about this situation is if you didn't have an insurance company to help negotiate the cost down, you would have been forced to pay the full amount.
The uninsured take the biggest brunt of it IMO. I know a few doc's do a private pay reduced fee, but not all do.
I had no insurance for most of 08' and it was cheaper to use OCS or IOP's.
K

You are right. If you do not have insurance you are at their mercy.

Musician, I here you. I have a 3000 deductible, and then it becomes 80/20. I went to the ER one night the buill is over 2000 bucks, so we will hit the deductible this year lol but i am going to basically make payment arrangements so I understand

That is awful Here the Drs and hospitals will not take payments. They turn you over to collections.

It is nasty.

well they could turn it over, sure, but a few of the doctors listed on the bill who billed through my insurance at least i got the prefered rate lol, said they would take payments and as long as i sent something would not turn it over to collections, now the hospital wants me to commit to something no way can i do that, i am not even sure how long it will take and you know what at this point let them turn it over, can't get blood from a stone and i am in a non garnishment state. but i hate our insurace so i do hear you

Mouse,

Do your best to stay clear of hydro or oxy, etc. YOur life will be much better without them. There are other ways you can manage without the fear of becoming addicted again. Remember, once an addict, always an addict but that does NOT mean you have to go down that same path. Hang in there!

Hmmmmm....that is if you really aren't in pain.

Addicts have pain also and it is very real. If an addict breaks a bone, they have pain. If an addict has a kidney stone, they have pain. An addict or recovering addict doesn't have the right to no live in hell when something is wrong? The truth of the matter if there is an addict that has been taking pain meds for a while now, they will generally feel more pain than someone not taking pain meds.

Narcotics will cause your body to stop producing endorphins which makes your pain worse.

Once an addict, not an animal.

Even dogs get something for pain.

I've heard stories similar to this one many times. Stacy is right if your condition warrants treatment with PM then the doctor, regardless of your past, should do the right thing.

It seems it doesnt help to come clean with your doctor regarding this sort of medical history - prior drug abuse.

Sometimes I think doctors are punishing people in your situation for past sins instead of doing their job.

That is unfortunate to be treated like that. I disagree about opiate therapy long-term being bad for everyone, however.

I agree w/you Tiades. For some it is the only choice.

I have tried EVERYTHING for the pain. Literally EVERYTHING. In fact, I continue to read and suggest to my doctor but I never find solutions.



Sometimes, I feel like - just shoot me now.

Seems you're damned if you do and damned if you don't when it comes to drugs.What starts out innocent enough can become a real burden.Sorry to see you go through this.

It can be a full time job being your own patient advocate.As a 55 year old man I too know of the "Bad Rap" our generation has regarding drug abuse...My son is 30 now and I truly believe his generation X is much worse...To stay on topic....work tirelessly with your doctor ...volunteer to give urine drug screens proving your integrity.State that you were a immature kid long ago but now you are an adult and...most important :::you do not use any street CDSi.e.pot...cocaine...or much worse H .....I will admit that it is a shame that the truth will not set you free in the medical world.Once you admit the truth about any past drug abuse you can rest assured it's no narcotic medicine what soever.

the test are MUCH more specific these days. a "simple" test will ID several opiates, meth, weed, several benzos, cociane, X, and a couple other things. A machine reads the samples now, so there is little error in the techs hands. the machine reviews the sample and reports items discovered, levels, and prints it out on a nice form, ready to be reviewed in 10 minutes by the dr. There ain;t much that the simple test will not find...

As in all things, it's all a matter of who you know, or how wealthy you are.

"The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread."
-anatole france

I've found that it's almost always better to not say that you were once an addict. As soon as that news is out, you can almost assuredly forget about getting any real relief, it truly is pandora's box.

Its very unfortunate, but thats the way it is.

To add what not to tell a doctor is how much you drink even if it's 1 glass a day. I always say a couple times a year during the holidays. I Only drink about 1 time a month but if I said that to the doctor he or she might not believe it.
I say this because prescription drugs and drinking to not mix.

Do a search on the topic of telling an intake Doc at the local ER what you drink, etc...

They assume it is all lies anyways.

Follow the advice of some of Western Civilizations greates philosophs... (thank you Monty Python)

Immanuel Kant was a real [censored]-ant who was very rarely stable.
Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Freidrich Hegel.
And Whittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nieizsche couldn't teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shanty was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away, half a crate of whiskey every day!
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
And Hobbes was fond of his Dram.
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart:
"I drink, therefore I am."
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed.

(in Anglo-speak, pissed is a synonym for drunk, you stupid git!)


And now, Time for my Mongolian BBQ (freakin' finally!!!) the PAIN is over!