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#912976 - 07/30/09 01:44 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: 1woodrow]
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Veteran
Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 496
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That is okay Woodrow, nobody is perfect and it is a work in progress!! I know how hard it is. The important thing is that you went back on the right track and hopefully learned from it. May help writing in a journal, so if you have temptation again, you can use that as a reference. You know, anything that will help. I stop and think and "play the tape" sort of speak. For instance, if I think about taking the pain pills, I think well what happened last time, from start to finish and the consequences that happened. I find that is helpful. Thanks for your honesty in any case. This has happened to all of us. We all have to work on "what causes us to pick up"? If these pills are accessible, we have to think of something that will stop us from even taking one. "play the tape".. And as they say in AA, one is too many and a thousand is never enough! mel, martin & amber, Thanks again for your wonderful support...yes, euphorioc recall, what a wonderful phrase!! I so have to remember that it's not as good (the thought of the feeling) as the real feeling was. I'll never be able to feel the way I did when I took that first percocet back in '98 just for the heck of it after a friend had back surgery and WHOA! The answer to my prayers and all lifes problems seemed to be contained in that little round white disk!! It was something I had NEVER felt anything close to before. What power the brain has. I also knew that my paternal grandmother was an alcoholic but until I went to detox & residential in 2005, my parents had never told me she was a nurse and was stealing prescription pain killers from the hospital she worked in....that might have given me some sort of insight earlier on??? Well, I also need to fess up to you guys here.....A week ago, after being on sub for 7 weeks, I stopped taking it b/c I got a little stash (60)Norco 10/325's. I figured taking 16mg of sub a day if I went without for 7 full days that would be long enought to get the sub out of my system even with the half-life being much longer. Well, it wasn't I tried a few, felt nothing, I tried 5 the next day, nothing, then 10 then 18 on Sunday....still NOTHING! I was disappointed because I couldn't get "the feeling" but also relieved to go right back on the sub and forget about the Norco since it didn't work anyway. I then started to obsessa about, well if I got more maybe I could get off the sub for 10 or 15 days, then it would work....but I was already beginning to feel a bit of withdrawl after a week of the sub, just a little anxiety, nervousness, sweaty, yawning, runny eyes/nose....so I thought it would work. I'm ashamed and I'm certainly NOT the model of opiate recovery...I'm embarrassed and feel like sh#$ today. But, I did get the application for an outpatient program and am filling it out and going to start in the program. I've also asked my psych doc and former rehab counselor if they'd help me start a suboxone support group. They said they would. So, thanks for letting me get that off my chest friends. It feels better. I screwed up and today is a new day. Plus, after going back on the sub yesterday, I felt so much better, slept better and was alot happier so I think I need to stick to my treatment plan for now!
Take care my friends!
Woodrow
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#913028 - 07/30/09 04:42 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: Rumplestilskin]
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GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 05/01/08
Posts: 2651
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I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place to ask, but I'll give it a shot.
At what point did you folks realize that you had crossed over from occasional medicinal/psychological usage to full on addiction? In your opinions, is there no such thing as theraputic usage on a psychological level for opiates?
It seems like it's such a fine line. Does just the appreciation of opiates and thoughts of them make you an addict?
You guys are all amazing. The strength and will you have to get even this far is amazing. Your good karmas will shine through.
You have asked the $64 million question. I'm unsure what you mean by a "psychological" usage of opiates (although I've got a pretty good guess) but, in most cases, the line between medicinal usage and abuse can be defined by behavior. For instance, you are aware of negative consequences from your use and still continue it even if on some level you don't want to and find it difficult to stop. Or you find yourself hiding the behavior you're engaged in and realize it is causing harm personally, socially, financially and in your relationships. But you keep doing it anyway. You are thinking of the opiates constantly, how many are left, where to get more, you'll do just about anything to keep from running out. A loss of control starts entering into your thought processes and a realization dawns that the substance is exerting control over you rather than the other way around. Some professionals like to equate addiction with compulsion. I disagree since addiction almost inevitably includes escalation whereas compulsion tends to reach a peak and plateau. One of the most reliable barometers for an addiction diagnosis can be found in the addict. If they are even halfway honest with you, they will diagnosis themselves after 3 or 4 straightforward questions. It sounds like part of your question involves why some people can "chip" on weekends or drink two glasses of wine every day and never end up with a substance abuse problem. The theoretical answers to that have filled volumes of texts and still no one has the 100% answer. Maybe some day gene mapping will help uncover the culprit.
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#913143 - 07/31/09 02:23 AM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: kevin8462]
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Newbie
Registered: 10/31/06
Posts: 29
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CNN Special Florida Pain Clinic July 31 2009 Friday Night Ya'll might be interested that CNN is going to do a bit on the Pain Clinics in Florida tomorrow night, July 31st. They replay it again late at night. (cable channel 45 Cox. (other cable companies too might be channel 246 or 268 or 204, sorry not sure which ones). Obviously it won't be good news. They claim Michael Jackson had many, many, scripts and used o.p. names. (they jump on any story concerning drug prescribed by private doctors. Real ones! Pain Clinics are one thing, private doctors with their own patients don't much worry around these parts. Doctor's that write for people in PAIN know they are helping their patients and if pressed for more each visit, can figure out their patient needs stronger meds or another way of treating them. CNN is 'pro' Fed data base. It's bad enough the Feds give $ for States to set them up. One day, they connect 'em all up to them. And that's not a good feeling !!~
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#913266 - 07/31/09 02:59 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: Amberray]
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GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 09/21/03
Posts: 9830
Loc: Somewhere in the budget
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No not at all.. I will clarify that, sorry. Meaning "cash" paying at these places is mainly so that insurance companies don't get involved and get traced back to the doctor. And also, these people are paying a lot more money for a visit; as opposed to a regular doctor visit. They sometimes pay about 200.00 per visit. I have heard many patients say this. And some even said, that while they have insurance, the pain doctor they see, refuses it and only accepts cash and as stated above, for the that reason. That is shady I think! Making more money is shady? Yea, I guess in Obama's America it is.
_________________________
Most people stumble over the truth, now and then, but they usually manage to pick themselves up and go on, anyway. -Winston Churchill 3 146
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#913317 - 07/31/09 06:34 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: martind]
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GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 01/24/04
Posts: 2252
Loc: |20(|-|3||35|\/|6 1$ 6@`/
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It is a known fact that Florida has "the biggest problem with pain meds" and there are so many "pain clinics" where people pay cash and basically get what they want. Not to mention all of the rehabs in Florida as well; which has the greatest number for some reason . Just a guess here but don't you think there might be a causal link between the reported ease of obtaining prescription pain medication in Florida and the number of drug rehab facilities located there? The two go together like carrots and peas. florida is also full of retirees, there is a reason there are more pain meds prescribed there. the baby boomers are coming of age, and the numbers will only grow. i can tell you for a fact, that you cant just walk into a clinic and get what you want. the media blows this way out of proportion. there will always be a shady doctor somewhere, (and maybe a few in broward county) but 99% of the places in FLA you must have proper documentation (MRI & CT scan) plus a referral from a PCP or neuro to get into pain mgmt. if you refuse alternatives such as psychical therapy, steroid shots, surgery... etc you will get booted. most people looking to just get a prescription are not going to go through all of this. (i would think) just because oxy 80 posts that he gets whatever he wants from his PM clinic and never has to take a urine screen does not mean the state is riddled with places such as this. Also, the PMP that failed 7 years in a row passed this year. so anyone that is doc shopping or getting large amounts from a doctor that is brazen enough to prescribe in such a fashion will not like the results. most pharmacies will not fill for controlled substances if your doctor is not in the same county either. there are a ton of rehab facilities in california as well, is it that easy to find compassionate doctors there? rehab facilities are filled with more alcoholics and illicit drug abusers than people on pain meds.
Edited by funkybreakz (07/31/09 06:44 PM)
_________________________
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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#913348 - 07/31/09 08:35 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: Rumplestilskin]
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GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 01/24/04
Posts: 2252
Loc: |20(|-|3||35|\/|6 1$ 6@`/
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There is lots of incarceration and rehabilitation in CA. Take a look in the news at all the Stars going to rehab and you can maybe surmise there are plenty of "compassionate" if doctors in California if finances are available, I imagine. I just looked up statistics and noticed in CA #1 reason for rehab is meth #2) heroin... alcohol falls at the bottom of the list (9.8%) . Of course this is a list that doesn't even take into account prescribed medicines. I'd love to see the numbers then. exactly, illicit drugs and alcohol. there is probably a reason pain meds did not make the list for CA. last i read, there was a 3 month waiting list to get into any decent pain mgmt program in the state. you would think a state that is liberal enough to decriminalize pot would also have more docs willing to help people with CP. but i am not sure that is the case. and when talking about " Stars" and regular folk, it is a whole different issue. if i was brad pitt i am sure i could find a doc in any state that would prescribe whatever i "thought" i needed. with the average person it is a whole nother story.
_________________________
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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#913362 - 07/31/09 08:59 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: funkybreakz]
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Stranger
Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 12
Loc: Washington DC
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I wrote this 3 months ago and figure this might help someone. It's great to be OFF the pills. My natural drive is back and great. Life is great. Sure I might smoke a little herb here and there, but heck, who cares. No dependence - that's the ticket! No more $100-300+ dollars a month on stupid pills. No more worries. Its a struggle - but think of the end product. No more dependence! REAL LIFE STORY - No Joke! All I wanted to say is after 5 years of being on Norco 10/325mg, I quit The climax - I was taking 12 a day... sometimes less or more, but that was about average. I was doctor shopping with 2 docs and "THE MOMENT" was when I tried to pickup a prescription in the Walgreens drive-thru and KNEW something was up... They were asking questions (birth date, address, doctor) and the tech said "hold on 1 second" - I bolted out of there in a hurry. I knew something was up. 1 week later, I received a letter from my original doctor advising me I can no longer be apart of his practice and I was done (Walgreens called both Doctors asap and advised what was up) That was my beginning... I have a family, wife and kids, good job (rare nowadays) house etc.. I could not = NO WAY shape or form lose anything due to this [censored]. I decided it was my time to grind this challenge. To me, the key is as long as all your sources are gone and you as a person understand the effects of the dependence of opiates, you are in good shape as the 1st step. I wrote out a spreadsheet for a time-scale on tapering I used Kratom capsules (they do work) and Tramadol. I was at the point of not taking any narcotics until 1/2 the day was over which I was taking 1 afternoon and 1 at night. I was truly impressed with myself going from 12 a day to 2-3 a day in 3 weeks. I ran out of the narcotics and knew it was a big challenge. The mental effect of just having them in your possession is incredible. I went to a christian oriented practice and laid it ALL out. The Dr was caring and listened to me. He wanted to put me on Suboxone which involved many other activities (contract, N/A meetings etc) I asked if there are any other options? He advised a one other but it was going to be rough if I went that route. I said, I will do it. I was put on Clodione and Librium. The clodoine is blood pressure medicine and the librium is a anti-anxiety med. Only problem I have had was the restless legs... gez did it suck. no sleep and work all day... day after day.. it works you for sure. The hardest thing I have encountered was telling my wife. Man that was really something. She cared so much and it made me cry. Yes the craving is still there but I won't do it again, to much risk and certainly do not want the monkey on my back again. Summary: Tell your loved one: Hardest thing I have had to do in my life. Support is by far # 1, you can relate your feelings and emotional state. Tapering - big challenge. You have to discipline yourself. Even in stressful situations, do not take an 'extra' D-Day: No more narcotics - the 1st day is challenging. Just keep yourself busy. The 1st day was rough but I did it. (walk,hike, bike, drive in your car, mow your grass, work on your garden etc) Work: Take a couple days off - 3 days would be good. Have some time to yourself and watch the discovery channel. Just remember - if you go back, you will "cycle" and be again at the withdrawal stage. Prey to God everyday and remember, your wife and kids are counting on you - actually your whole family is! Tell yourself, I will no longer do narcotics / pain pills - daily reminder. I still have a tough road ahead of me and sure I will for a while. 2 weeks from now, I will look back at this and the last 5 years and question WHY?
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#913660 - 08/01/09 06:48 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: Oxy80]
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Enthusiast
Registered: 09/10/05
Posts: 252
Loc: West Coast
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I think people that take drugs, particularly narcotics, in a recreational fashion are probably addicts.
I'm just guessing and this is just my opinion based on information gathered from a popular 12 step program. That is a judgemtnal statment.. Most opiate addicts (myself included) didn't start taking them "recreationally" I had, no I have chronic pain, I can tell you what kind of pain I have, but I don't feel I have to explain anything to you or anyone else. I started taking prescription opiates from my OB-GYN when I was 14 years old. I had no idea what addiction was, and when I did find it out, I was already a full blown addict. So don't assume you know anything about opiate addiction unless you are there yourself...This is OMHO, but (For me) 12 step programs are a bunch of propoganda. I am not downing 12 steps for anyone who is a member, they just never worked for me...Not one size fits all Hottie
_________________________
Do something nice for a stranger today, and don't tell anyone about it.
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