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#900837 - 06/26/09 10:01 AM
severe hydrocodone addiction
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Member
Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 104
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it has been years since i have posted. I have developed a severe hydrocodone addiction. I did not get this addiction from physical pain. I got this, because i love the way the pills made me feel, and thats it. I do know that i have severe anxiety without the medication. (even before i took 1 pill). My most recent stint started around 9 months ago, and I have not stopped or tried to slow down until this week. Currently, I am taking 10-15 10mg pills per day, and i know that i need to get off them. They do almost nothing for me anymore except prevent withdrawrals. This past week i was able to go through 1 day (Tuesday) of taking 6.5 pills, and the day was aweful. I was extremely scared, anxious, and had severe anxiety and cold sweats. Another day (wednesday) i took 8 pills which was slightly better, but not by much. Yesterday i took 12 pills and had a good day, so i guess this is my addiction level. I guess 120 mg per day is where i am at. I currently have approximately 60 pills, and tapering seems nearly impossible. Also, I no longer have the means to get this drug. No matter what, i will be getting off them and will experience severe withdrawrals. Nobody in my life knows of my addiction, and i am NOT prepared or able to tell anyone at this point. I am very scared. Part of me feels as if the anxiety/fear over quitting is worse than the quitting. (until the withdrawrals start). When they start, i am in pure hell, and cannot do anything. Fortunately/Unfortunately, i am not working right now so i do have the time to get off the meds at home. I am engaged and have no kids, and my fiance does not know about any of this. I feel terrible, but i CANT tell her. Trust me when i tell you i cant. She remains my inspiration and my main reason why i need to get off the pills. I do not fear she will leave me, but i am not prepared to tell her of my problem just yet. Down the road after i get thru this, i will tell her. I know i will be very sick for at least a week or 2. I am so scared. I have ordered valiums and beuronorphine online to get me through this. They will be arriving hopefully in 2 weeks. I am scared, but i have no choice but detox at home. Aside from the obvious (immodium, water, hot baths...), would anyone here be able to offer any other suggestions? I know this is the first step to a long recovery, but any help would be appreciated. Thank you for reading and understanding.
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#900870 - 06/26/09 11:46 AM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: watson515]
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GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 07/20/05
Posts: 5819
Loc: The Steve Doocy Fan Club
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After WW2 the allies got Herrman Goering off of a 20 tab a day morphine habit by giving him one less tab a day; you could try this instead of trying to cut your intake in half (which didn't work as you have seen.) You could do some research into Tramadol which will help with w/ds but can be addicting in itself, and yes, look into Kratom, it does work fairly well, the fact is that you will be uncomfortable for a few days (I speak of the physical effects only, the mental part, as you've noted, is the real challenge), anyway, you can tell your fiance that you have the flu while you are sick. The valiums might help with the anxiety issues somewhat, but again, they can be addicting so be careful with them. If all else fails, and you have some money, do a search on suboxone.
_________________________
"Prejudices are what fools use for reason."
- Voltaire
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#900877 - 06/26/09 12:14 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: watson515]
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GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 05/01/08
Posts: 2651
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thanks for your help.
I'm sure i am killing my insides. But fortunately, i am young and healthy for now.
I had been on 10/325 hydro's, so i do not believe i am far past the 4,000 mg per day toxic level on tylenol.
regardless, i know how bad this is.
This is why i know it is time to end this.
Hopefully, you will find the following suggestions helpful even though you don't appear to currently agree with them. First of all, please tell your fiance what's going on ASAP. This is a very, very difficult step for most addicts but it is extremely important for long-term success in your recovery. You will need her support in many ways during withdrawals. If you are intent on tapering off the drug, she can be a lifesaver controling your doses. I realize you are negative about this advice but that's true for the vast majority of people trying to quit drugs. You will absolutely need this support if you try to do this outside of an in-patient setting. If not your fiance, find someone else close to you either friend or family. Secondly, forget about Suboxone, benzos, Tramadol, Kratom, etc. Taper off the hydrocodone and deal with the symptoms using OTC meds as needed. You will just be avoiding the inevitable by switching to another psychoactive substance. Please believe me when I say that at your age and the level of opiate dose you're taking, you do not need any other narcotics to reach your goal. Too often, the attempt to create a "soft landing" only results in a flaming crash later on. This is a very tough road you are starting down but it can be done successfully with help from those who care about you. If your disclosure of this problem results in the loss of their relationship, that's a pretty obvious indication that they didn't really care that much after all. Best of luck to you and those around you.
Edited by martind (06/26/09 12:17 PM)
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#900920 - 06/26/09 01:50 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: salty1]
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Member
Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 104
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I am beginning the process of quitting starting now. I know that i may slip. It is not my intention to slip, but i am trying to be realistic about this. I have 120 Tramadol to help me get through the toughest part. I intend to take the Tramadol for 2 weeks, and then taper from that. (Thank you for suggestions on not replacing one for the other. I know that this is hard for some, but i personally had done it before so i will do it again). Tapering off hydro is very hard for me. I have tapered from Tramadol in the past, but always went off hydro without tapering. The last time i tapered from Tramadol, i really got my life back together. If its worked before it will work again. Obviously, i went back. I think it may help me to document my pill intake, so i'm going to try and do that as much as possible. Assuming i am able to stop taking pills, maybe i can also help others who are going through the same thing as me. I have 120 pills of Tramadol, around 25 klonopin. and 60 hydrocodones. today: 7:00am: I had taken 25 mg hydrocodone. 1:45: I started to get bad withdrawrals. I started playing nintendo wii tennis in order to get my blood flowing. I took 2 pills of tramadal. THis really seems to be helping. i do not feel withdrawrals, but my head is foggy. I know not to mix the 2, but 6+ hours in between doses should be enough. But now that i have taken the Tramadol, i know i cannot take hydro for the rest of the day. This is how i plan to get through the first week. i am taking this 1 day at a time, and hopefully i will be able to take the 60 pills of hydro i have, and donate them to someone who really needs them. i understand everyones suggestions, tell my loved ones, go to a clinic, narcotics anonymous, etc.... Please understand me: i cannot tell my fiance about this right now. It is out of the question. Please understand this. The only way is to say i am sick. I know for sure she would not leave me, but please understand that there is no way i can tell her about my addiction right now. Once i am through the physical part, i will tell her so she understands what is going on with me. I know my head will not be straight for a while. Thank you all for your support. I'm going to need it!
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#900938 - 06/26/09 02:25 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: Amberray]
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GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 01/24/04
Posts: 2252
Loc: |20(|-|3||35|\/|6 1$ 6@`/
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FB, what is DL-P? An amino acid? I didn't know that about it producing endorphans. Good to know. Is it like L-Tyrosine? That stuff made me feel nervous. I had a nice long post but it is now gone for some reason. I am on my phone ATM. So in short - google Thomas recipe, it will help. Start taking DL-P with the hydrocodone as you taper. Will help you cut your dosage very fast and will start making your brain produce endorphines again. Also look into Kratom. While I do not condone people taking this med that do not need it, It takes a lot to admit something like this and I hope you are able to get through this with minimal discomfort. Good luck and keep us posted. Dl-Phenylalanine http://www.disabled-world.com/artman/publish/dl-Phenylalanine_.shtmlhttp://lmgtfy.com/?q=d-l+phenylalanine+opiate+taperor http://lmgtfy.com/?q=d-l+phenylalanine+hydrocodone+taper
_________________________
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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#900949 - 06/26/09 02:39 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: Oxy80]
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Member
Registered: 12/18/05
Posts: 104
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it was not harder for me to get off the Tramadol the last time. i feel more comfortable going this route. i know and am well aware that i am masking my withdrawrals right now. but if i can do this for the 2 weeks that i would be experiencing hydro withdrawral, i could quit the Tramadol without ever really becoming physically addicted. (since they are 2 very different drugs). i know i will still be mentally dependent on a drug, but at least i wont have physical addiction at that point. i am not taking the Tramadol to get high, i am taking it for this reason only. thanks for the continued support
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#900959 - 06/26/09 02:57 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: Oxy80]
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GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 05/01/08
Posts: 2651
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It's a smart idea to tell her about this when the time is right.
I can only contribute what I have seen happen over and over and over. By bringing those close to you into the picture as early as possible, you accomplish two very important things: *You have physical help from someone who genuinely cares about your well-being and this improves the odds tremendously that your detox will be successful *You have removed the destructive secrecy that surrounds almost all addictive behavior. I have never seen a loving relationship destroyed by an addict coming clean upfront and asking for help. I have, however, seen many relationships fall apart when a loved one found out after the fact that there was a problem that was concealed from them and their help was not even asked for during this difficult time. If you obscure the truth by lying that you are "sick" while withdrawing, you just add another layer of deception which is often met with resentment later when you reveal what was really going on. Reluctance to share a substance abuse problem is very common. But willingness to share it is usually a solid indication that an addict is totally committed to geting sober. Take this advice or leave it. I'm just trying to improve your chances for success. PS: your earlier post about the use of Tramadol is off the mark. At the end of two weeks you will not have accomplished anything based on your plan. You'll just be addicted to Tramadol. As noted earlier, that might be worse than the hydrocodone to quit. Forget the use of other drugs and just taper off the hydro.
Edited by martind (06/26/09 03:02 PM)
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#901067 - 06/26/09 05:34 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: Khilee]
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Old Hand
Registered: 03/20/06
Posts: 478
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I totally understand your privacy and not wanting to tell your significant other, but believe me, in the long run, it will be much easier on both of you if you come clean with her now. It will provide you with the support you will need, as well as give her the oportunity to make her own decisions about how this will affect her life....and it will. She has the right to know as your addiction will have affects on her life, and she should be aware of that.
Just my opinion.
From my own personal experience: I was in the same boat about not wanting to tell my hubby, but he found out on his own by snooping anyway! At the end of it all, I was so glad he knew and was there to help and support me. Because my addiction did affect him, even in ways I would never have even thought about.
At any rate, best of luck, and you have recieved loads of great info from other posters.
_________________________
Sow your wild oats on Saturday night...then on Sunday, pray for a crop failure.
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#901078 - 06/26/09 06:15 PM
Re: severe hydrocodone addiction
[Re: watson515]
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GRAND Pooh-Bah
Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 2547
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it has been years since i have posted. I have developed a severe hydrocodone addiction. I did not get this addiction from physical pain. I got this, because i love the way the pills made me feel, and thats it. I do know that i have severe anxiety without the medication. (even before i took 1 pill). My most recent stint started around 9 months ago, and I have not stopped or tried to slow down until this week. Currently, I am taking 10-15 10mg pills per day, and i know that i need to get off them. They do almost nothing for me anymore except prevent withdrawrals. This past week i was able to go through 1 day (Tuesday) of taking 6.5 pills, and the day was aweful. I was extremely scared, anxious, and had severe anxiety and cold sweats. Another day (wednesday) i took 8 pills which was slightly better, but not by much. Yesterday i took 12 pills and had a good day, so i guess this is my addiction level. I guess 120 mg per day is where i am at. I currently have approximately 60 pills, and tapering seems nearly impossible. Also, I no longer have the means to get this drug. No matter what, i will be getting off them and will experience severe withdrawrals. Nobody in my life knows of my addiction, and i am NOT prepared or able to tell anyone at this point. I am very scared. Part of me feels as if the anxiety/fear over quitting is worse than the quitting. (until the withdrawrals start). When they start, i am in pure hell, and cannot do anything. Fortunately/Unfortunately, i am not working right now so i do have the time to get off the meds at home. I am engaged and have no kids, and my fiance does not know about any of this. I feel terrible, but i CANT tell her. Trust me when i tell you i cant. She remains my inspiration and my main reason why i need to get off the pills. I do not fear she will leave me, but i am not prepared to tell her of my problem just yet. Down the road after i get thru this, i will tell her. I know i will be very sick for at least a week or 2. I am so scared. I have ordered valiums and beuronorphine online to get me through this. They will be arriving hopefully in 2 weeks. I am scared, but i have no choice but detox at home. Aside from the obvious (immodium, water, hot baths...), would anyone here be able to offer any other suggestions? I know this is the first step to a long recovery, but any help would be appreciated. Thank you for reading and understanding. First thats not a bad addiction. Your max is 150mg a day. I would go away for two weeks with some fiorinal no 3. Just go cold turkey. When you start crawling out of your skin. Take 2. In 5 days the worse will be over. 1 week after that your back in the game. In a month its all behind you. At one time in my life i kicked 240 a day. At another time i kicked 120 a day. this is how i did it.
_________________________
CAN I GET A REFILL ON THAT
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